Book Review: Lost in You by Dr. Noel Nadesan

“The man who writes about himself and his own time is the only man who writes about all people and all time.” – George Bernard Shaw

When it comes to writings by Sri Lankan authors, quite a large proportion of it is diasporic writing. Perhaps there is something to be said for the theory of inner or outer tumult giving wings to the creative muse. Without a doubt, Sri Lankans who have uprooted as well as re-rooted themselves all over the globe have had to experience a lot of both; inner as well as outer turmoil that is.

Whether they be Sinhalese, Tamil, Muslim or Burgher, a deep-seated search for meaning, identity and a sense of belonging has been set in motion by the various upheavals to their inner psyche as well as outer circumstances. This has in turn given rise to a plethora of writings that an audience back home are just beginning to discover.

In a recent attempt to make such writings available to the people back home, some English translations of novels written in Tamil were launched at the BMICH last month.

One of those books was ‘Lost in You,’ the translation of a Tamil book titled Unaiyae Maiyal Kondu by Dr. Noel Nadesan, a Sri Lankan Tamil veterinary surgeon domiciled in Australia. At the launch, the author claimed that he was not a literary genius and wasn’t trying to be; he wrote for his own mental satisfaction as well as to relay certain historic episodes which he had witnessed and which he thought necessary to relay to others who might either not have witnessed it themselves or else viewed it from another side of the divide.

Dr. Nadesan (right) at the book launch in Colombo

He has already written three other books which have earned him praise as well as acrimony. Lost in You, is the fourth, which is the only one I can speak for, having personally read it.

The genre of fiction has many paths but the person who epitomizes Bernard Shaw’s ideal of showcasing his own experiences and culture in works of fiction is perhaps taking the most hazardous path. If he does an honest job of it, he would have showcased his community’s warts as well as its dimples; but especially its warts. Not many people can take that.

In that sense, honest diaspora artistes are much to be pitied. They have been thrown into a maelstrom  of soul searching which have given rise to their creative output. But the rest of the community who would be happier with reconstructing heroic pasts and laudable contemporary portrayals of themselves are very likely to take offence.

In that sense, most of these writings are not comfortable to read, especially if the reader is a person who identifies with the community being written about. Dirty linen has been washed in public. It is a necessary exercise. Dirty linen has to be washed. But the instinctive reaction of someone in a state of cultural flux, seeking to establish their community’s criteria as good and noble citizens would be “Oh No, did he have to go and put it out there publicly for other communities to point and laugh at?”

But that is what artistes ideally do. Hold up mirrors of ourselves that will show us as we are or even caricature and thus emphasize those least endearing characteristics of ourselves which we would rather not acknowledge – either to ourselves or to others.

‘Lost in You’ is such a book. It is not necessarily a literary masterpiece as its author has already acknowledged. The sentences are simple and lucid but lay no claim to literary genius.  Its strength is not in the beauty of the prose but rather in the validity of the story-telling. Nevertheless it flows in simple, direct sentences into an easily readable book of only a 139 pages.

It is the story of a young Sri Lankan Tamil doing his PhD in Australia. He is an intelligent young man able to think, reason and question, which he does constantly. Except that he grew up in a certain culture and is now as a young adult still capable of change, living in a vastly different culture. He is naturally confused. He was brought up in a closed patriarchal system with fixed rules on morality. He is now living in a very open culture where those lines have blurred. He has in some ways adapted to the change, in some ways adapting to the change and in other ways incapable of getting past his deep-rooted culture which he acknowledges.

Life does not necessarily take us from Point A to Point B with an ‘Aha’ moment at the end and neither does this book. It is the portrayal of a young man’s soul searching given trying circumstances in his life and the laudable as well as not-so-laudable ways in which he tries to overcome them. At the end, he does not necessarily know what he could have done better and neither do we. Such are the trials of a community in flux. There are no established rules. We have to make them up as we go along.  Eventually our bluff might be called but we are still not certain what the alternative could have been or should have been.

People with fixed cultural values on how a person should behave may not like this book but that does not invalidate the story. It is a very real story which is honest in not portraying cases in black and white. There are shades of gray everywhere making it uncomfortable for the reader to take the moral high-ground. Nadesan does not oblige us by providing the stereotypes we are comfortable with. In this book, you can’t help liking the mistress, you can’t help feeling irritated with the wife although you feel sorry for her, you can’t help feeling exasperated with the protagonist while yet sympathizing with him.

The book, like the Sri Lankan diaspora itself, is a story of turmoil, with more questions than answers on what could have been and should have been. It reads well, but whether it sits well depends on the reader.

Love in a Headscarf Book Review

Browsing through the aisles of a bookshop recently (my favourite activity next to actually reading books), I came across a book cover that stood out for its interesting image and title; Love in A headscarf by Shelina Zahra Janmohamed. The cover image was a drawing of a lady in a headscarf.

What’s the average perception of ladies wearing headscarves?
Traditional? Demure? Suppressed? Oppressed? Archaic?
The headscarf (amongst non-muslims) has many stereotypical connotations, not many of which are positive.

Yet the cover design of a headscarf-sporting young woman challenged all these stereotypes. She looked thoroughly modern and confident, with her bright pink sunglasses, matching lipstick and no-nonsense look.

With both hair and eyes thoroughly obscured, it is rather difficult to project a personality, especially one would think, in a drawing – but this drawing projected the personality successfully; ‘Don’t mess with me! I am a modern young woman, who knows what I want and I am going after it.’

Well, that was a challenge right there from the Muslim lady who wrote her story to the reader, and I took it up. She didn’t disappoint. With sassy humour and charm, she relates the many trials and tribulations of being a young Muslim woman growing up in Britain.

The opening chapter is promising. She is having a ‘good headscarf day.’ You know, one of those rare days when the fabric of the headscarf swathes itself as it should? No? Well, it doesn’t seem much different from the good hair / bad hair days that the rest of us suffer from.

It is especially important to the 19 year old Shelina (of the first chapter) that her headscarf drapes successfully. Like other women fussing with their hair before an important date, her room is covered in a rainbow of colours – of all the discarded headscarves. This is the first time she is about to meet a suitor at her family home – and he might be ‘The One.’ It is imperative that she make a good impression.

Unfortunately finding ‘The One’ is no more easier (or difficult) for a modern, young Muslim woman than it is for her non-muslim peers, and the rest of the book takes us on her journey to find her ideal prince. In the stereotypical media out there, we hear of modern young (mainly western) women’s search for their princes and the eastern and middle-eastern women’s arranged marriages to toads (who never turn into princes).

This amusingly self-searching and revealing book exposes most of these stereotypes as well as re-invents them. It is not only the toads who show up for arranged marriages (although they are there too) and eastern women traditionally brought up, yearn for their princes too.

Hers is not necessarily a revolutionary tale but it is a tale that challenges the stereotype out there of oppressed Muslim girls. Thus her recounting of a happy and loving family home is not unique. But in the plethora of writings out there on surly, fanatical Muslim men who make revolting fathers, brothers and husbands, her off-hand recounting of her father who used to rub his trimmed beard against her cheeks as a child to show his affection, and kept it shampooed and conditioned, so as not to hurt her when doing so, raises a tender chord of resonance.

Stock image of Muslim father and daughter

When only the negative stories are heard, all the positive stories that never make it into the media (because they are ‘normal’ and thus not newsworthy) might as well be for naught. Janmohamed consciously writes about her family, community and religion in order to challenge those negative stereotypes.

In doing so, she gives a glimpse of a community long vilified by non-muslims, especially post 9/11, portraying how they feel, think and act. Muslims have unfortunately become the threatening ‘other’ in too many countries across the world, including Sri Lanka.  For an educated young woman who draws sustenance from her faith and community but is not blind to its faults (as indeed which community is without its faults?), being a practicing Muslim, wearing a headscarf in a western country post 9/11 is  suddenly a consciously brave decision that she has to fight for.

To be who she is, believe in what she does and yet continue her life, which was never a threat to anybody else, as normally as possible is an uphill challenge but she doesn’t shirk from it. In books of this genre we already have Bridget Jones and a horde of lesser known modern heroines. But Shelina Zahra Janmohamed on a similar mission still stands out – because she is Muslim. She stands out not only because her traditional community expects her to go about finding her prince within certain culturally defined boundaries and means, but because she is suddenly the ‘threatening other’ in her larger British community.

The author, Shelina Zahra Janmohamed

With all our progress in women’s rights, women of the 21^st century face some unique challenges. This book is the exploration of the challenges of a 21^st century Muslim woman. It is by turns, funny and perceptive, mellow and introspective or irreverent and light-hearted – and for many non-muslims out there, it will prove an enlightening glimpse into where these boxed in ‘others’ are coming from, ideology-wise.

One of my favourite chapters was on her interaction with her most religious suitor. Their conversations on Islam and what it teaches are beautiful, thought-provoking and riveting. Having read many books on what Islam is about, I was yet inspired and impressed by the revelations in this chapter.  Many Muslims who insist that theirs is a religion of peace and tolerance seem to be fighting a losing battle against the stereotype of the Taliban, held against them. This book comes at a relevant time to show the other side without being preachy.

The book falls into the genre of chick lit, but its content is too thought provoking for that dismissive label. This is not a book for just dreamy-eyed young women. Even the elderly, the male sex and anyone in general interested in getting past the stereotype of Muslims prevalent in the world today, would enjoy this book. Take a gamble and read it. Personally I loved it.

Book Review

When Tom Bower, a supposedly award winning author and biographer wrote an ‘unauthorized’ biography of Simon Cowell, it thrilled fans around the world. Until that is, most of them got their hands on the book.

Sweet revenge: The Intimate Life of Simon Cowell

Remember the charismatically nasty judge on American Idol, Britain’s got Talent and the X-Factor? Many people started watching the shows just to see the put-downs he gave most of the (untalented) contestants.

Unfortunately, over time the media, cottoning on to the public’s fascination made too much out of it. The Cowell factor became a syndrome of its own where judges in similar reality shows across the world tried to emulate him – Sri Lanka being no different.

Before he knew it, Simon Cowell instead of trying to pick stars became THE star, and thus an industry was born in and around him, trying to cash in on his unforeseen mega-celebrity status. The book, Sweet Revenge, is one of the products of that industry.

It is neither a readable nor a particularly informative book. The biographer is no diligent researcher. He has just cobbled together random gossip in all the media out there, concerning Cowell’s private life and personality and come up with an ill-planned and haphazard biography. Anything with the name of Cowell will sell, seems to have been his reasoning and so he hasn’t bothered to make it either good or readable. At the end of the day, he has made his money. And that is all that seems to have counted.

Fans across the world bought the book because, though it was termed ‘unauthorized’, everyone knew that Cowell, an extremely narcissistic personality, had made himself and his friends and relatives widely available to the author. Given that level of access, the fact that 98 percent of the book is just a rehashing of already published tabloid gossip, leaves much to be desired.

And whatever little ‘new’ information the author has come up with is not really relevant or insightful, though he presents it with unnecessary emphasis and gloating. Take for example, his discovery (through a genealogist he had hired) that Cowell’s father had Jewish roots –something Cowell had been unaware of himself. He makes much fanfare of the fact that Cowell’s Anglican great grandfather Joseph had married Nancy Levy, a Jew and their son was brought up in his mother’s religion.

Cowell’s father had not apparently been a practicing Jew and Bower gleefully inferences that he was ashamed of his roots and tried to hide it, even pointing out that he had a ‘Christian’ funeral – as if that were of any concern to anyone but the Cowell family.

Catty inferences and innuendoes like these might be what makes cheap tabloids sell, but one would expect better from an entire biography. Without anything really solid to go on, the writer resorts to tantalizing hints that leaves the discerning reader thinking, “Who do you think you are kidding?”

In the first half of the book for example, he makes out that Simon Cowell and his brother Nicholas, shared an unhealthily close bond where they even swapped girlfriends. Switch to the second half and we see Simon celebrating his 50^th birthday party. He had apparently been unnecessarily rude in his best man’s speeches at both of his brother’s weddings (Nick has married twice), and on his birthday, his brother paid it back with interest – or so Bower in his narrator’s voice tells us.

Except that the quotes he gives of what both brothers actually said are only funny ones – he just goes on to hint that they took it too far and left guests shocked with their ‘venom’ but where are the venomous quotes so that we can decide for ourselves?

Here are the relevant extracts:

At Nick’s first wedding to Kim, Cowell during his best man speech had quoted from Nick’s teenage ‘diary’: ‘Off to Paris to meet a nice boy; went off with him. Met a nice donkey in the bedroom.’ Next Cowell read a ‘letter for a job application’ explaining why, as a boy scout, Nick had been found giving mouth-to-mouth resuscitation to another scout in a dark room….

At Nick’s second marriage to Kate, Cowell had again read a series of ‘letters’ sent by a dating agency during their worldwide search for a bride, which climaxed in finally unearthing Kate in Eastern Europe….

Nick’s body language as he mounted the stage was combative. ‘Revenge is a dish best served cold,’ he started. ‘At my wedding Simon made a dreadful speech, and I was going to wait until his wedding to make this speech. But until they make a law that you can marry yourself, I won’t get the chance, so I’ll make it now.’
His theme was not only his brother’s vanity but also his homosexuality. “Simon’s favourite animals as a child were elves, goblins and fairies and he still likes fairies today,’ he began, ‘and his favourite group was the Pet Shop Boys.’ Then he added, ‘Simon couldn’t believe that Terri could be a girl’s name as well.’
The side splitting laughter amongst the insiders was mixed with bewilderment from the likes of Philip Green, who was stunned by the brother’s venom.  Sitting next to Green, Cheryl Cole was left open-mouthed…

Yes well… two heterosexual brothers’ innuendoes that the other was a homosexual may be immature at best but hardly venomous. The above extract is typical of the whole book – making something out of nothing, which is what the author excels at. Despite Cowell’s long string of girlfriends, there have been aspersions in the media from time to time that he is a closet homosexual; something every celebrity is subjected to, when it is a rainy day at tabloid offices. Bower admits that he has been unable to unearth any evidence of this himself – but caters to the gossip-hungry fans who for whatever reason of their own would want to believe it, by speculating if it could be true, given Cowell’s ‘camp’ mannerisms.

So ultimately what does this book tell you?

1 – Simon Cowell is a narcissist, addicted to his self-image.

2 –  Simon Cowell is a commitment phobe who has a string of girlfriends but is unlikely to ever marry.

3 – Simon Cowell hates Simon Fuller, the producer of American Idol and wants to out-do him.

4- Simon Cowell is a manipulative TV mogul who engineers rifts in his reality shows just to up the ratings.

Learned anything at all about Simon Cowell that you didn’t know already? No? Neither did I!

Oh wait… I learnt something. You think Simon Cowell is interesting? Read this book. You’ll find him dead boring!

Yep, that’s what it feels like, after you’ve read the book